


State of the Union

by Fibi94



Series: Universe Echo [2]
Category: Designated Survivor (TV)
Genre: Multi, This is the beginning of slow burn hell
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-01 06:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15137249
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fibi94/pseuds/Fibi94
Summary: Loosely based on episodes 11 to 13 of season 2.





	1. Chapter 1

Tom tries to keep his eyes open but he finds himself unable to, his eyelids are heavy and he finds himself falling asleep on his desk.

“Mr. president? Sir!” Tom gets startled awake by Emily who’s standing above him, “Emily, what time is it?” Emily smiles “It’s ten thirty sir.” She tells him, Tom looks outside, everything is dark around him the lamp on his desk still on “I slept for three hours?” he doesn’t know why he’s asking it’s not like Emily was here when he fell asleep but he is surprised that she’s here now “Why are you here?” he asks, “The first lady called me when you didn’t show up and told me to check on you.” Tom groans, he had completely forgotten that he had promised to Alex they’ll have a date “Was she mad?” he asks.

“No, just worried.” Tom nods “Alright, I better get upstairs if I want to stay married.” He stands up, his whole back is complaining at the move and realizes that he’s getting a little old to be sleeping wherever he wants. He picks up his briefcase and jacket from the back of his chair and almost runs to the exit seeing Emily staying back, smiling.

Tom walks in the residence, most of the lights are off and he knows Penny and Leo are long asleep by now. Walking in the seating area he sees the lights turned off. He winches before continuing in the bedroom, he’s almost sure he’ll get an earful when he walks in but instead he finds Alex sitting on the bed, her laptop in her lap, heels on the side of the bed still in the clothes he imagines she put on for their date.

“Hey.” He says walking in Alex closes her laptop and looks up “Hey, Emily found you I see.” She says smirking, he breathes out seeing that smirk, it means he’s not in as much trouble as he thought he was. “I’m so sorry I was late, I fell asleep on the desk.” He leaves his briefcase on the floor next to the small desk and walks to the bed sitting on the edge in front of Alex. He raises her legs in his lap, he’s so glad that the red cast is finally gone, he absolutely hated that cast, it was a daily reminder how this life he had dragged them in almost took her away from him for good. “I imagined.” He looks at her confused, he doesn’t know why he is though after all those years together she knew him better than he knew himself. “I’m really sorry we lost our date because of me.” Alex smiles and leaves the laptop on the bedside table. She leans closer and takes his hands in hers, “It’s fine, come here, you need sleep.” She tells him and pulls him closer to her.

Lying down next to Alex she looks at him smirking, “Why are you smirking?” he asks her, “You look adorable.”

“I’m the leader of the free world I don’t do adorable!” he says pouting. Alex can’t stop herself laughing. “You’re just Tom for me.” She tells him.

* * *

 

Alex wakes up in the middle of the night, she doesn’t remember what woke her up, she remembers she was happy though. Looking to the side Tom was long asleep, she takes her time looking at him sleeping, he’s facing her one hand under his pillow the other hand still clutching the bottom of her shirt.

He looks so much more tired in just a short year she can see the white hairs multiplying on his head and the wrinkles around his eyes and on his forehead previously only showing from him smiling and laughing now became much more prominent and she’s sure it’s not from either laughing or smiling too much. She tries to smooth the lines on his forehead with her fingers; he groans a bit and buries his face deeper in the pillow.

She smiles when she looks at him, he does look adorable but she bites her lip. “Stop looking at me!” he murmurs, Alex laughs and leans down, she cups his face and sees his eyes staring back at him. “Sorry you look cute.” He groans but there’s still a smirk on his lips.

“I don’t do cute!” he complains, Alex leans closer places a kiss on his nose, he smirks and surprises her pinning her down “I don’t do cute.” He says.

“Adorable?”

* * *

 

Tom is in an amazing mood the morning when he gets to the office. Opening the door he comes face to face with Seth and his hundreds of pages upon pages. “Seth how lovely to see you.” He says, trying not to lose his smile. “Sir, I need you to look at the speech!” Tom sits down taking a deep breath.

“Seth.” Seth stops and looks at him “Please relax, we have some time till the state of the union and today I already have a long day.” Seth looks almost shocked, he gathers his papers and leaves the room, Tom groans and bangs his head on the desk, this day did not start the way he thought it would.

* * *

 

“Hannah. Come in.” Aaron says, Hannah walks in the room cautiously, she is almost sure of what he is going to say, he probably will tell her that she’s fired.

She walks in the room and stands in front of him, he is sitting down looking at her standing there but says nothing “IA finished their investigation of the shooting.” He tells her, Hannah bites her lip not really ready to hear whatever he has to say but she also knows that she can’t stop him “They found no foul play but the fact that you were involved with Damian does worry them, it worries me too. They suggested two weeks of probation which I affirm.” Hannah blinks, she looks at him and her shock must be very visible in her eyes because he was just smiling.

“So I just get two weeks vacations?” she asks him trying to ignore his smile. “No. you are coming with me in Cuba.”

* * *

 

Alex decides to go to Kendra’s office, she knows how tiring and long Tom’s day is and hopefully Kendra doesn’t have as much to do. Alex knocks on the door and walks in, Kendra is looking through paper after paper she looks up when she hears the noise letting her pen down “Bad time?” Alex asks.

“Well kinda. I’m knee deep in legal paper work with the trip to Cuba and the potential treaty…” Kendra pauses smiling, Alex knows that smile a little too well, she’s stressed and overworked nearly to her limit.

“Don’t worry I get it. It’s a mess isn’t it?” Alex chuckles trying to light the mood in the room Kendra laughs along but her laugh is hollow, empty almost as if she can’t bring herself to actually enjoy it.

“Honestly your husband should start a war it’s less paper work than being pacifist.”

* * *

 

Tom nearly had to drag himself up the resident at night this starts getting old, he’ll wake up happy and energized, once in a hundred days, he’ll get down to the office and after six hours he’ll wish for the sweet release of death.

Today it was Seth and his insanity over the state of the union. He is sure he has written a speech before, hell he was the press secretary, why was he so worried about this one? He shakes his head and opens the door to the bedroom, he doesn’t want to do anything and thinks what are his chances of drowning if he just falls into the bathtub fills it with water and just sleeps there.

Alex was sitting on the bed seeing Tom walk to the bathroom almost blindly, he drops his briefcase to the floor, it makes a loud thud, louder than usually. She gets up and follows him to the bathroom, he’s lying in the bathtub with all of his clothes on but no water is running. She bites her lip trying not to laugh but can’t the noise startles him awake “Where am I?” he asks looking around.

“You fell asleep in the tub.” Alex walks closer and gives him a hand to get out of the tub “I hate the state of the union.” He murmurs as they walk to the bed.


	2. Grief part 2

The flight down to Cuba was very smooth; Hannah even managed to get some hours of sleep on the plane. Aaron found himself spending most of the time just looking at her sleeping, it was amazing how peaceful and innocent she looks when sleeping, this person was so active and deadly when awake, asleep she was complete different.

“My constituency is 34% Cuban so I had to take this trip, that doesn’t mean I support the president and his failed policies, we need lower taxes, more prisons, more aircraft carriers not some president who still can’t make up his mind!” Aaron rolls his eyes, of all the seats in the bus did he really have to seat next to congressman whiny?

“If that guy doesn’t shut his trap I’m gonna shoot him” Hannah says not raising an eye from her papers, Aaron bites his lip trying to stop himself from laughing, “Kirkman the undecided that’s what we should call him.” he starts seriously considering letting her shoot him and if he didn’t have to worry about hiding the body he might have.

“Hey congressman, since you are joining the president’s team maybe you should ease up the criticism?” he leans over and tells him, the man chuckles “I just call them as I see them Aaron.”

“Call them somewhere else, this is a trade mission not a campaign rally.” He says, the man shrugs and it takes all of Aaron’s self control not to punch him square in the nose.

“How’s that?” he asks Hannah leaning closer to her. “I still think I should shoot him.” she tells him, Aaron smiles widely, she doesn’t raise her head but he can see her smirking which makes his heart weirdly skip a beat. He wonders when was the last time he felt that, he can’t remember really, his first thought was with Emily but thinking back he doesn’t remember this specific spark.

Everything was going far too well to be his life so when they found themselves taken hostage by the rebels he wasn’t surprised, of course he would be kidnapped with Hannah. He realizes just then, although he’ll never tell her that he is frightened she’ll do something that will end with her getting hurt.

And what to tell her after all?

* * *

 

At first Aaron’s plan seems to be perfect, just pretend they are two newlyweds, nothing more. He left his White House ID in the bus after all. She doesn’t know why but she’s terrified of the moment their captors find out who Aaron is, she doesn’t know why she has this irrational fear, probably because he’s not trained in the field, he’s a politician not a field agent after all, he shouldn’t be around men with semi automatic weapons turned pretty much to his head.

The moment their leader comes and says his name she feels her blood freezing, Aaron is almost dragged away from her and she finds her hand flexing as if she’s trying to keep hold on a hand she never held.

He’s forced to read a letter they wrote, she doesn’t really hear what they had him say, she only can hear the last words, ‘The delegation of traitors will be executed’ she always knew that her end would be violent and bloody but she can’t imagine his being like that as well. They push him back a little too hard and he loses his step for a moment there, he manages to stay up and walks to her side as well. Her hand itches to hold his but she stops herself, this isn’t the time for emotions. “The president will lose his mind when he gets that.” He says, she looks at him, he doesn’t see her, but she has the time to study the thin lines around his eyes “He’ll,” she stops, doesn’t really know what to say, she knows well enough that Tom Kirkman will lose his goddamned mind at the sight of Aaron hostage, that’s exactly the man he is. It’s probably the only time she wishes he was more of a politician than the man he is.

“He’ll be fine Aaron, he has his advisors there.” She tries but she knows as well as he does how phony those words sound.

* * *

 

Tom was sitting in his private office, he was stabbing his stake with his fork not really in mood to eat anything, he doesn’t know what it is but he feels horribly. “You’re playing with your food Tom.” He turns around and looks at Alex standing at the door, it feels a little like a déjà vu to him, but he doesn’t speak, he stands up and walks to her meeting her halfway, wrapping his arms around her waist was one of the best feelings, “I don’t feel too well.” He tells her.

Alex pulls back and takes his face in her hands “What is it Tom?” she asks him, he smiles sadly, he wishes he had an answer for her but he doesn’t “I wish I knew Alex, really, I have no idea.” She bites her lower lip and takes his hand leading him to the couch.

She sits down and pulls him down sitting next to her; she wraps her arms around him. Tom leans his head on her shoulder and wraps his arms around her waist; it’s not the most comfortable position to lay but he seems to be relaxing, she can feel his muscles in his back relaxing as she runs her hand in circles.

“Wanna tell me what’s bothering you?” she asks him, Tom looks up to her, she smiles trying to hide the small stab she felt when she saw the totally lost look on his face. “I don’t know, I…” he pauses biting his lip, “I feel like something bad will happen.” She has learned better than to doubt her husband’s feelings or hunches any longer.

“Whatever it is, I’m here for you.” She tells him, he smiles and leans up kissing her on the lips before closing his eyes and laying his head on her shoulder again.

They sit like that for about half an hour, she can feel his breath just slowing when Emily barges in the room startling him awake. “Sir!” she stops when she sees Alex is there as well, biting her lip.

Tom rubs his hand over his face trying to rub the sleep from his eyes, “What is it Emily?” he asks, his tone surprises Alex, this is the first time he has used this tone and it gives Emily a clear signal that he is not going to kick her out of the room, she bites the inside of her cheek to stop the smirk from forming as she can feel his hand tightening its hold on the back of her shirt.

“There are some complications with the delegation in Cuba.”

* * *

Aaron’s heart is beating way too fast when Hannah starts talking, she’s fearless he knows that but right now he wishes he has a little more fear in her. Maybe then she would consider the actual danger she is in by talking. The man threatens to shut her mouth and Aaron’s all logic jumps out the window completely erasing everything but the thought of Hannah dead. He realizes that the threat to his life doesn’t affect him half as much as the threat against her life does.

On any other situation it might have made him wonder what all that meant but right now he doesn’t have the luxury to. The back of his hand touches the back of her hand, that’s all the contact he’ll allow himself to have with her right now.

* * *

 

Tom goes to bed that night but finds himself unable to sleep at all. He twists and turns for about half an hour before he decides to get up before he wakes Alex up. He walks to the seating area in the bedroom and opens the cabinet under the TV he knows there’s a bottle of whiskey left there, he just realizes how much of a drinking problem Richmond must have had because there’s alcohol in pretty much every room he would occupy, he is still finding loose travel sized bottles in the private office and the oval. Right now he’s not going to complain though, he takes the glasses from the shelf above the bottle and pours himself a drink.

“This is becoming a habit” he turns and looks at Alex, she’s sitting up on the bed, the covers pooling around her waist, there’s a smile on her lips but it’s not really reflecting on her lips. Tom leaves the glass down and walks to the bed sitting down by her side, he doesn’t know what he would do without her really.

“I can’t.” he pauses, not sure what to say “I’m not,” Alex takes his face in her hands and gets him to look at her. “Tom, Aaron and Hannah will be fine!” she tells him, there’s a strength in her words which makes him feel so much better, he doesn’t know how she does it but she does.

“I’m scared Alex, I send them there.” He says, he doesn’t know what else to say, how else to explain that he is petrified of losing people. It’s different when it’s people you know for years rather than people you haven’t mean really. He wonders how he’ll survive till the end of his term, not to mention for another eight years, when every time he loses someone he feels like a small part of himself dies as well.

“I think that’s the problem Alex, neither of us knows that they will be alright.”

* * *

 

Hannah tries to sleep but she can’t she finds herself peeking at Aaron sleeping next to her, she doesn’t know why she cares so much, it’s probably going to only end up in tears in the end, he’ll either leave her or he’ll die, anyway she’ll end up losing him and she is not sure she can survive that. She’s lost so many people she cared about, so many people she loved either died or betrayed her or just left.

He moves a little in his sleep and his hand falls on her hand on the thin worn out blanket they are using as a mattress. She smiles and studies the lines from his veins too afraid to touch just in case she wakes him up. The warmth from his hand makes her feel a little more safe right now; she doesn’t know what exactly it is. It happens to her a lot actually, she seems to be running most of the day on pure adrenaline, but at nights when her armor is off and she’s surrounded by darkness all of her insecurities just jump out on her.

* * *

 

The morning comes and Hannah finds Aaron already awake, she’s somewhat sad that she doesn’t have another chance to see him sleeping, but she hides it well. She gets up and sits next to him on the bench after helping him pick up the blanket from the ground. She knows the longer they stay in this place the more possible it is they will not survive this ordeal.

She asks to use the bathroom, she doesn’t have time to explain to Aaron what she wants to do, she’s not sure she’ll even succeed but she has to at least try.

Aaron watches Hannah walk to the bathroom and he wonders if this is her try to escape and make sure they manage to get out of this situation they are in. he doesn’t have the time to ask her because she’s out of the room before he has a chance to, but the look she gives him before she leaves the room makes him think that that’s what she’s planning on doing.

Time passes and Hannah isn’t back, the guard who let her leave starts banging on the door and on the other side of the room he just heard the congressman badmouthing the president to get himself off. He feels something snapping and he just stands up…

* * *

 

Alex walks in the office and finds Tom just pacing up and down the room, “Tom?” he stops and turns around seeing her standing there, she walks in and closes the door when she sees his face, “How are you?” she asks him when she walks closer to him. Tom smiles sadly wrapping his arms around her waist, he feels his feet burning from walking up and down for over an hour.

“I’m losing it Alex.” He says leaning forward hiding his face in her shoulder “I know I shouldn’t pay the ransom but then again I can’t risk more people losing their lives.” Alex nodes, “Seems like you’re in a pickle.” She tells him, Tom chuckles, “Yeah. More and more recently.” He tells her, he walked in the oval today and saw some of the literal piles of paperwork he has been neglecting for the past couple weeks. “I feel like drowning Alex” he tells her. 

Alex bites her lip; she isn’t sure what exactly to say to him, after her accident she starts realizing just how much Tom seems to be drowning in the job. He’s having more nightmares than she remembers, many nights she’ll wake up and he will be missing, she feels guilty that it took her so long to realize the small differences in his behavior. When she did, it was late and he was already drowning in all those things he couldn’t control. She wonders how she could miss those small changes so much but then she remembers that this time wasn’t the easiest for her either. It scares her sometimes how much they have changed in such short time. What if by the time they leave the White House they are such different people that they don’t recognize each other anymore?

“Tom.” She bites her lip, not sure how to suggest what she’s thinking “Maybe you should see someone.” She sees his face is changing, from confusion to realization, he nods, “Yeah, I think I should.”

* * *

 

When Hannah is dragged back in the room Aaron feels like chocking, his hands are shaking, he fears of what will happen to her and realizes that he’s not really sure how he’ll deal of the very real possibility of her getting hurt.

“Are you ok?” he asks, she just murmurs yeah, not like he was expecting anything different from her, of course she wasn’t going to say anything different. He hears the man talking, they are talking about what to do with her next and he wishes just for once he didn’t speak Spanish, none of the options are good, nothing from what he hears is something he would like to see, Cross leans forward and says “Hey, don’t do that again they will kill us all.”

“I can take care of myself.” Hannah says, Aaron signs of course she would say so. “He’s right, they’re talking about what to do next with you, none of the options are good.”

* * *

 

Tom just gotten confirmation that the hostages are on a plane on their way to the U.S. when he decided to just quit trying to work or pretending to and get upstairs and get some sleep, after all tomorrow was going to be an even more exhausting day. He opens the door to the bedroom and sees Alex still awake, she was waiting for him, of course she was.

“Hey.” She tells him, Tom smiles and walks to the bed, he’s exhausted, “Hey” sitting down on the settee in front of the bed feels divine right now. “What happened with Aaron and Hannah?” she asks him Tom smiles “They’ll be back in” he looks at his watch “Eight hours around 5 am D.C. time.” She smiles widely “That’s great news, will you go greet them when they land?”

Tom shrugs “Emily says better not, but”

“You want to.” Alex says, of course he does, she knows him well enough to be sure that he does want to go and visit them when they land. It is after all his national security advisor and Hannah, it’s a little weird that she’s not sure what Hannah’s title actually is, because in reality she’s nothing more than an FBI agent, but she’s so close to the White House and to Tom that she’s just considered an important member of the administration.

“Tom then you should.” She tells him, he looks up surprised, he probably expected her to agree with Emily.

“Will you come with me?” he asks, “Sure.”

* * *

 

Hannah looks at the seat next to her Aaron sleeping, she’s amazed at his ability to just fall asleep so easily, she hates sleeping in flight, she’s the only person awake in the cabin so she takes her time to study him carefully, the lines on his forehead are gone when he sleeps, and now in the dim light of the cabin she can notice the small scar he has right on his hair line, she wonders what’s the story behind it, did he get it when he was a child, small and overactive as she imagines he was, climbing on some tree or falling from his bike or as an adult?

She takes her time studying his face, his hair, curly and untamed from the shower he got in the base before they left Puerto Rico, a curl is falling on his forehead and she smiles, he looks like Clark Kent. She bites her lip hard not to laugh at the image of Aaron in a skin tight blue bodysuit with a red Speedo over it, or the red cape waving behind him.  It’s a very funny image which she would actually pay him to see.

He got a clean shirt from one of the soldiers in the base to replace his dirty one which he left behind not wanting to keep it. She doesn’t blame him really, she knows for a fact she will burn those clothes once back in the states.

She wonders if there’s anyone special in his life, she of course heard the rumors of his disaster of a relationship with Emily Rhodes earlier this year but she heard nothing of his personal life so far. She wonders does he have someone special in his life or is he alone? The image of Aaron sleeping half naked with a faceless woman in his arms invades her mind, she doesn’t know why but the image annoys her to no end. She hates that woman with the black hair and thin figure to no end. In her mind she has already decided that it’s Emily, she looks like the White House chief of staff and her type seems to be Aaron’s type. He surely prefers brunettes, fashionable and petite women. She finds herself comparing to Emily Rhodes and she wants to groan. What weird feeling that is? Why would she care who Aaron Shore is with?

* * *

 

Tom is restless waiting for the plane to land, next to him Alex is bundled up in a thick sweater and heavy coat, she holds his glove clad hand trying to stop him from pacing up and down the air force base. Mike suggested more than twice for them to wait inside the car and Alex starts considering as she feels her fingers freezing even thought she wears gloves.

“Tom, relax” she tells him through her teeth trying not to be overheard by some of the other people waiting there alongside. Tom freezes for a moment and turns to look at her “I’m annoying aren’t I?” he asks.

Alex chuckles and wraps her arm around his waist “Very” she whispers to his ear.


	3. The final frontier

Alex was sitting in her office, the TV was on as she was reviewing candidates for her chief of staff, today was going to be a good day, Tom had told her of the missile going up today to the international space station with the needed things to repair the damage they had. She didn’t really pay much attention on what the damage was to be honest, she didn’t really care anyway. But she still turned the TV on to check the launch of the missile there’s excitement when the missile goes up, she can hear it in the commentator’s voice and she smiles. It’s not long though before she sees the missile go up in flames right on her screen.

* * *

 

Alex walks to the oval fast, she knows Tom will probably be there and she does find him sitting right outside the office, his head buried in his hands, his whole posture screaming defeat to her and she hates that she has to leave.

She sits down next to him and puts a hand on his shoulder, he knew she was there before that but he didn’t say a think. “Tom?” she tries to get his attention he raises his head slowly and looks her in the eyes, “Hey” he says, his voice betrays how tired he feels, “I thought you’d be on your way to New York by now” he says, Alex nods, the museum opening was in the least appropriate moment but it was something in the books a long time before she even became the first lady and she couldn’t back down. “Plane leaves in an hour.” She tells him, Tom nods and turns his eyes ahead just staring at the snow covered rose garden. “We were warned we were hacked.” He murmurs his voice low almost as if he’s afraid to admit it.

“So?” he looks up surprised “So?” he asks again, “Alex lives will be lost.”

“They would be lost if you didn’t try as well.” She argues, Tom knows somewhere in the back of his mind that she was right “Talk with the Russians; they might be able to help.”

* * *

 

The day passed like a flash for Hannah, she had barely rested from being held hostage to finding out that Damian was alive, she was sitting in Aaron’s office, his couch was far more comfortable than the ratty one in her office, “What are you doing here?” she jumps when she heard a voice definitely not Aaron’s she stands up seeing the president standing there, “Aaron’s couch is more comfortable than mine sir.” She says, the president chuckles, and sits down “Sit” he tells her, Hannah smiles and sits down next to the man.

“I came to talk to Aaron, cause I know he’s good with kids, but now that you’re here, can I ask you something?” Hannah shrugs; she feels the need to tell him that she’s terrible with kids but stops herself.

“My daughter, Penny, she got in a fight again at school, after Alex’s accident I offered to take Penny and deal with her school issues while Alex deals with Leo and helps him prep for college. This is the fourth fight she has gotten ever since.” Hannah bites her lip, Penny Kirkman is the last kid she’d imagine would get in trouble at school, “Sir, I’m not really good with kids but,” she stops for a moment trying to gather her words. “I think you should talk to your daughter, not her teachers, they’ll tell you what’s on the outside, not the reason.” He looks at her, a small smile on his lips “You think she’ll tell me?”

Hannah smiles, “She’s your daughter, and you haven’t done anything for her to hate you, so yeah, she will.”

XXXX

Alex walks in the residence, she heard what happened, and was worried how Tom was taking it, Cornelius resigning was so out of the blue, she had no idea he was even thinking of it. It must hurt Tom a lot. He’s laying down, one arm over his face, the other holding a glass, Alex takes off her shoes and walks to his side sitting down next to him, she notices that his eyes are closed but he isn’t asleep, she takes the glass from his hand, at first he clenches his hand around it but then not a second later he relaxes.

Tom opens his eyes, he’s not really ready to face Alex but he knows he can’t avoid it for long. “Hey.” She tells him, there’s a sweet smile on her lips, it almost takes him by surprise but then he remembers she only knows the public story of what happened today.

“Hey,” he tells her, she lays down next to him “I heard about Cornelius’ resignation.” She tells him with a sad smile on her lips, Tom closes his eyes tight. “I fired him,” Alex leans back, “What?” she asks him shocked. “It was a very long day Alex, can it wait until tomorrow?” he asks her. She looks at his tired eyes and nods, “Yeah” she tells him, “Of course it can.”

* * *

 

Seth was alone in the office, it was well after midnight and most had gone home by now. He was still staring at his laptop screen though; a blank screen and a blinking cursor were his enemies today. He hadn’t added anything to the state of the union speech in two days and he felt like no one cared about it. Looking at the calendar they had about three weeks to the actual address and they thought it was enough. Even Lyor who he thought would be driving everyone crazy was not worried.

The only person in the building almost worried was Aaron and he realizes that of all of the president’s staff he and Aaron are the only ones being on this place from this side of the glass before. He chuckles sadly, he knows he has to tell Emily, let her know of the actual gravity of the situation but he knows she won’t listen to him; she’ll chuckle and ignore him as she usually does when he says something about work, acting like she knows everything. It’s surprising how much she can frustrate him but he can still love her so much.

“You still here?” he looks up and sees Lyor leaning on the door frame. Seth looks up and smiles, “Yeah working on the state of the union again.” He tells him, Lyor nods “I guess we ignored it long enough.” Seth was about to respond when he sees the other man turn on his heel and leave, ‘Of course’ he thought, it’s not like Lyor Boone ever strayed back to hear he was wrong.


	4. Speak speak.

Alex wanted to speak to Tom first thing in the morning but he had left long before she woke up, the entire day was so fast pacing though that she had no time to actually steal some time to get to the office and talk to him.

She had to wait for the day to end and was determined not to let him get away from talking about it again. He comes upstairs, his tie was gone, he looks tired and slightly drunk but she doesn’t let this slide, “Tom, we need to talk” she tells him sternly, Tom looks up, and nods, he knows that he can’t keep avoiding the subject anymore, Alex wanted answers and she wasn’t going to wait any longer.

“Ok, I just need to change.” He tells her, Alex nods and he walks in the wardrobe, she waits for him to come out, she doesn’t wait long until he reappears, he’s wearing his sweatpants and a t-shirt, she notices the bones in his wrists showing, she bites her lip but she gets worried, shaking her head she tries to put this in the back of her head, Tom sits down on the bed he bites his lip trying to think what to tell her, “Tom, why did you fired Cornelius?” she asks him.

Tom takes a deep breath, thankful that she starts because he feels so lost. “He went behind my back, offered things to Russians I wasn’t ready to give them” he says, “I didn’t give him the ok for any of those and he just blindsided me.” Alex bites her lip, she can’t take her eyes from how thinner he looks right now. He looks at her, there’s a look in his eyes that she has never seen before, it surprises her, “If you didn’t trust him anymore to represent you then he shouldn’t represent you anymore.” He looks surprised, “I thought you’d be mad” he says, there’s a small sad chuckle leaving his lips, Alex smiles and wraps her arm around his shoulders, “Tom you are the president.” She tells him, “It’s your choice.” Deep down she is confused on why he would fire Cornelius and maybe not just suspend him but she’s not going to say that, he looks so shaken, almost as shaken as he was the first week in office and this is not a version of her husband she wants to see any time soon again.

Tom nods, he remains silent for a while, he needs to tell her of Penny’s school fighting but he doesn’t want to. He’s afraid she’ll think he’s useless but he knows she will find out eventually. “There’s something else I have to tell you.” He says, Alex looks at him surprised, she didn’t think anything else happened while she was away. “What?” she asks him. “Penny got in some fights since your accident I tried to get her to speak to me but she wouldn’t.”

Alex pulls back but makes sure her hand stays on his waist, she uses her free hand to rub her face, this was getting more and more confusing by the minute and she feels like screaming. “Did she tell you why she was fighting?” she asks trying to keep her frustration at bay.

“No, she wouldn’t even tell me anything, her teacher contacted me.” He says, she notices that he throws short glances at her, almost as if he’s scared that she will blow up. She tries to file it away in her mind, trying to ignore it because it gets a bit too disturbing right now but she finds herself unable to. “It’s ok, I’ll talk to her tomorrow morning.” Tom hangs his head low “I’m sorry, I promised I’d take the weight off of you but I made it worse.” He murmurs, she smiles and leans forward resting her chin on his shoulder, “Don’t worry Tom, she’s a preteen, the time she spoke to you is coming to an end.” She tells him trying to make light of the situation, he barely cracks a smile and it almost frightens her. She moves in front of him and kneels down taking his hands in hers “It’s you I’m worried about right now.” She says, he looks at her with a pained look in his eyes. “I’m fine.” He tells her, she knows he lies, she can see it in his eyes, “Tom we don’t lie to one another remember?” she reminds him their deal when they got married he looks guilty, embarrassed and she is seriously worried of what is happening right now. “Tell me what bothers you,” she says leaning up and cupping his face “Tom I’m worried.”

That’s all it takes for Tom to break, he feels the tears rolling down his cheeks, burning their paths on his skin. “I,” he pauses and it makes Alex even more worried, “We should get more comfortable.” He says, Alex smiles and accepts his help to stand up, she follows him to the other side of the bed and they both get comfortable under the covers. Tom feels Alex’s arm wrapping around his waist under the thick blanket and he smiles, he leans his head on her shoulder and soon enough she wraps her other hand over his shoulders. “I saw the therapist I told you about today,” she bites her lip to stop herself from saying anything, she was so exited he had decided to actually speak to someone “I thought about firing him at first, but then I realized, I’m barely threading water. I can’t keep it up like that.”

Alex feels his hand clutching the back of her nightgown tightly and smiles, her face buried in his hair, “We talked about my childhood today and with Trey’s visit coming up.” He stops, no matter how hard he tries he can’t get the words out. Alex doesn’t push him for answers, she lets him take his time, he leans back and looks at her “I haven’t talked to you about my father have I?” he asks, Alex nods no, in all of their years together Tom never once mentioned his father, it was a subject he didn’t like to talk about and so she never pushed for more details. Trey was more willing to daydream about a father he barely knew but his memories are so few and scarce that even he can’t trust them.

“He was an awful man,” he says, immediately Alex doesn’t like where this is going, call it her experience in court or her own gut instincts she knows this won’t end well. “He drank too much, gambled, he was demeaning, insulting and just, so angry all the time.” He pauses almost as if he couldn’t outer then next words, Alex could imagine how the story is going to go, but she doesn’t say anything, she just waists both her arms firmly wrapped around his body the best she can.

“I was ten when my mom came into my and Trey’s room, there was blood running from her forehead, told me to get Trey and hide in the closet, I did she locked the door and hid the key, Trey was barely three, he was tired, sleepy, I could hear him banging on the door, screaming to her to let him in. He eventually broke the door.” He pauses, Alex knows almost too well what happens next, she’s seen it way to many times in her lifetime. “I heard him beating my mom, I tried to cover Trey’s ears and mouth so he wouldn’t make a sound,” she sees him having trouble to continue and her head is spinning from anger at the moment, how could someone hurt people he claimed to love “Did he?” she can’t really outer the words so she stops herself.

“No, at some point, I don’t remember how many minutes later, he thought my mom was unconscious and he stood up and left. I haven’t seen him since then.” Alex just clutches his shirt tighter and buries her face in his hair she tries hard to keep the tears at bay, knowing Tom as well as she does she knows he’s going to hate seeing her in tears.

“As soon as he slammed the door of the apartment shut my mom opened the door of the closet, she was starting to bruise and there was blood still running from her temple, she got me to pack some of my things, mostly clothes and some toys and we left, I haven’t been back to Pittsburg ever since.”Alex pulls back she sees the tears shinning in his eyes, thought not many have escaped, “I didn’t know you were from Pittsburg, you always told me you were from New York.”  She tells him, he smirks, “Ten years in a crappy stuffed apartment, it never felt like home.” She smiles just pulling him closer to her, she’s happy not to feel him pulling back. “And look at you now, you are the president.” She tells him, he smiles but it never reflects in his eyes, still too far gone into the horrors of his childhood to actually hear her.

“I’m scared I might become like him.” he says after staying in silence for some time, Alex pulls back and takes his face in her hands forcing him to look at her, “You are nothing like him.” she doesn’t know how she finds such force, this story feels like draining her but those words leaving his lips make her able to fight again “You don’t know that Alex, what if I am truly my father’s son?” he asks she sees the worry in his eyes, clear as the day, it’s making her gasp, “Because I know you Tom.” Her answer doesn’t seem to reassure him so she tries again, she finds this so much more difficult than she expected “We fight, a lot, but you never used anything from my past to get back to me, to hurt me. You never even try, which is not something I can say. You’re nothing like him.” she hides her face on his shoulder, ashamed thinking all the times she used things against him, all the times she said things to him purely to get a rise out of him, to hurt him she always felt horrible about it but now that she knows exactly what he went though she understands why he always looked like being gut-punched when she did.

“I thought about it.” He admits, she can’t stop her tears when he hears him, “And you didn’t do it.” She tells him pulling back, she doesn’t care if he sees her crying, he didn’t care if she saw him crying either, “We’ve been terrible to one another this past year haven’t we?” he asks, there’s a sad smile on his face she smoothes the lines on his forehead “We have.” It’s so hard for her to admit it but she knows she has to, “Let’s try and be better ok, I… I can’t take another year like that.” He says Alex smiles and nods, the tears still running down both their faces, leaning forward she kisses him, his lips taste salty but she doesn’t mind, she doesn’t mind at all.

* * *

 

Hannah was twisting and turning for hours when she just decided to give up on sleeping she keeps seeing the same dream over and over again, every time she opens the door to her apartment and finds Aaron there, shoot, dead bleeding from a perfect round hole on his forehead. She doesn’t know why this disturbs her so much, it’s not like she hasn’t seen any dead bodies before, quite recently she saw the vice president shot in the head.

A little voice at the back of her head reminds her that she didn’t really care about the vice president while she does actually care about Aaron but she smoothers it as fast as she can; now it’s not the time to think about that. Her life was frantic enough without romance confusing it further.

And yet she still can’t get his pale face and bloody hair put of her head…

* * *

 

Tom hears his alarm clock and groans, it’s already 5am, he and Alex barely went to sleep two hours ago. He shuts it off as fast as he can so he won’t wake Alex up, she’s sleeping so peacefully next to him, last night was hard for both of them but he surprisingly feels lighter this morning, maybe the therapist wasn’t that much of a scam after all.

He gets up and walks almost mechanically to the bathroom, the face that greets him in the mirror scares him a little, he looks exhausted, dark circles under his eyes, his cheekbones almost poking through his skin, he touches his face, almost as if to make sure what he’s watching is truly there and realizes just what might have made Alex look so worried when she saw him coming out of the wardrobe, because the man starring at him in the mirror is a ghost of himself. He turns his eyes away and walks to the shower; he doesn’t have time to fester on these thoughts.

The water is warm and just exaggerates his exhaustion, he leans forward resting his forehead on the cold tiled wall closing his eyes for one moment,. He doesn’t know how long he stays like that but his knees buckle from underneath him and he just falls to his knees, the hit to the cold porcelain is hard and it sends a shock through his whole body but he doesn’t really care right now he can feel the water getting colder as it hits his back but he doesn’t move, he hears the door opening but ignores it, it makes him wonder why the hell he can’t get his body to move really.

Alex wakes up to an empty bed, she’s slightly disappointed that she missed Tom, he looked so bad last night she wanted to try and have him stay at home today. She hears a loud thud from the bathroom and realizes that the water was running, it makes her bold from the bed and almost run to the bathroom. Alex sees Tom on his knees in the shower, his head is resting against the tiled wall, she’s terrified at the picture in front of her and just reaches for one of the bathrobes from the corner.

Alex gets into action fast she opens the door and shuts off the shower, the water hit her hand and it was almost freezing cold, she knows Tom never likes really hot showers but she’s sure he doesn’t enjoy a freezing cold one either, she kneels down in front of him, she knows her nightdress will be wet but she doesn’t care about that at all, cupping his face he slightly opens his eyes “Hey, you ok? Did you hit your head?” she asks him but doesn’t wait for answers. Alex just starts looking at his head for any sign of trauma and breathes out in relief when she finds none. “Alex, I’m fine.” He murmurs, his voice is hoarse though. She helps him out of the shower and wraps him in the bathrobe “You’re freezing.” She says noticing how he’s slightly shivers as soon as he’s wrapped in the warm cloth. “You’re not going to work today.” He tries to complain, tell her that he can’t just take a day off but she stops him “Tom you look like death warmed over, you’re not leaving the bed today.” Her voice is clear that this is not up for negotiation; Tom just lets her lead him back to the bedroom and as he sits down on the bed he starts feeling extremely lightheaded and wonders if he really did hit his head. “Alex” he calls her name trying to get her attention as he sees from the corner of his eye going through his drawers for clean clothes. “Alex!” he tries again, this time he gets her attention, she comes back in the room almost running dropping the clothes she was carrying on the bed next to him “What is it?” she asks him “I feel lightheaded. Maybe you should call the doctor.”

“Shit!” she murmurs under head breath, “Ok, you get dressed and I’ll go call the doctor, you think you can do it or are you too dizzy?” she looks at him trying to nod but getting dizzy and closing his eyes tightly. “Let me help you with those then.”

She takes his boxers first and kneels down in front of him Tom gets his legs through the holes and she pulls it up as far as she can with him sitting, “Ok stand up a bit and put your hands on my shoulders to keep your balance.” She tells him, it takes him some time to be able to stand but he does it, she can feel his hands clutching almost painfully her shoulders but she doesn’t say anything instead she pulls his boxers all the way up and helps him to sit back again.

“I don’t think we ever did that this way.” He says, it’s a lame excuse of a joke but it still makes her laugh “Yeah in sickness and in health isn’t it?” she tells him, the smile on his lips although tired is the first one in a while that reflects in his eyes. They repeat the same process for the sweat pants before Tom takes the shirt and puts it on, he’s a bit slow but he doesn’t need any help for that, Alex helps him to get under the covers and wraps the blankets tightly around him, “I’m going to call Emily to clear out your day as well.” She says kissing his forehead, he is a bit too warm to touch which only makes her more worried but she masks it with a big smile.

Alex walks out of the bedroom and walks to the living room; taking the phone in her hands she dials the number for the doctor’s office, her interactions are brief and Dr. Stevens tells her she’s on her way immediately, her next call is to Emily, “Rhodes!” she hears the other woman say from the other side “Emily this is Alex.”

“Alex! The president is a little late is he awake?” she asks, Alex bites her lip, she tries to ignore the slightly annoyed tone of Emily’s voice “Tom’s sick he won’t be able to come to the office today, the doctor will be here to see him soon” she says, she hears Emily gasp from the other side of the line “Oh my god! Let me know what the doctor says alright?” she asks, Alex breaths out slowly, “Yeah don’t worry.” She says and hangs up the phone, peaking through the doors she sees Tom has fallen asleep and she closes them quietly again. She walks to the hall where she sees Mike standing at his usual spot “Good morning Mike.” She tells him, Mike smiles “Morning ma’am.”

“Mike I need a favor” she tells him, Mike smiles and nods “I want you to stay with Tom in the bedroom for a while, he seems to be sleeping but I don’t want him staying alone while I get the kids ready for school.” Mike’s smile drops as he hears her words “Is he sick?” he whispers, Alex nods and turns to Leo’s bedroom.

* * *

 

Mike gets to the bedroom and sneaks in quietly, he sees the president bundled in the covers, he seems to be barely able to move under all those blankets but he also looks comfortable. He takes a seat on the couch across from the bed, just quietly watching the man sleeping on the bed.

He leans back and just looks away from the bed looking aimlessly the wall ahead of him, he doesn’t know what to do, Alex asked him to just watch him but actually watching him wasn’t something he felt he could do easily, or at all so he looks away, a thousand things run through his head as he looks out the window the snowed in Washington.

Alex is back not long after, the doctor following her a few steps behind “How is he?” she asks Mike who jumped on his feet as soon as they walked in, “Well he didn’t move at all awhile I was here.” He sees her biting her lip but she doesn’t say anything and just nods smiling “Thank you Mike.” She says, he nods and leaves stopping outside the room as soon as he closed the door he takes a couple deep breaths trying to calm himself down. He doesn’t even know why it bothered him that much, presidents get the flu all the time, they get back on their feet just as fast.

Alex was sitting on the side of the bed, she knows it annoys the doctor but she wouldn’t move, Tom was trying to stay awake, he turns his head and smiles at her, “You ok?” she mouths he nods and closes his eyes she can see him winch when the doctor said that she should take some blood for some tests.

“It’s probably just the flu, I’ll start you on some antibiotics, and some ambient for the fever but I expect you to be back on your feet in a couple days, just take it easy today.” Tom nods, he doesn’t really open his eyes and Alex is almost sure he’s gonna be asleep soon. She gets up and walks the doctor to the door, “Let me walk you to the elevator” she says, not really letting her say no.

“I’m not gonna be able to keep him in bed after a day.” She says as soon as they are in the corridor. The doctor turns and looks at Alex, she bites her lip, “Well you should try ma’am, he shouldn’t be back in the office for at least three more days.” Alex almost groans, “Great” she murmurs. “I’ll see what I can do.” She waits until the doors to the elevator close before turning around, she starts walking to the bedroom but stops, she doesn’t know why she didn’t think of it before but she smirks, this was a good choice to get Tom to stay in bed.


	5. Original Sin Part 1

Trey gets out of the car and looks at the historic building in front of him, he can feel his mouth drying, his brother is living in the White House, and that’s a thought that is making him dizzy. He climbs the steps, the door opens when he reaches to the top and he’s taken aback, a woman walks out, she’s about his height, shoulder length brown hair, big brown eyes, deep and mysterious, he blinks a couple times, she must think he’s a weirdo, “You must be the president’s brother.” She says, her voice makes his heart skip a bit, he hates, it, he hates that feeling with a burning passion, but no matter how much the little voice in his head is screaming not to dare think about the l word, he realizes that he’s getting a little too deep, he takes a deep breath “Yeah I’m Trey, Trey Kirkman.” He says shaking her hand. It takes all his strength not to keep holding her hand, she tells him to follow her up to the residence, and he just walks behind her, watching her loose curls bounce as she walks, he’s mesmerized by how the light falls on her hair and how the color almost changes she leads him to the residence and he doesn’t even realize how they got there, “I didn’t catch your name.” he says just when they reach the second floor.

She smiles, “Kendra Daynes, your brother’s lawyer.” He smiles awkwardly and looks ahead, trying not to stare at her profile for too long, “Nice meeting you Miss Daynes.”

The doors open, he sees Alex waiting them there, she seems exited to see him there, “Thank god you’re here!” she says and grabs his arm “Thanks Kendra!” she calls over her shoulder, Trey can barely get a look at her before the doors close and she disappears from his view completely.

* * *

 

Kendra walks fast to her office and closes the door behind her, she leans against the wood and closes her eyes, why the hell did she felt like that with her boss’s brother in the same space? She doesn’t know how she feels, what exactly that feeling was, but the way he was looking at her, stealing looks while he thought she wasn’t looking.

She shakes her head trying not to think about it anymore, it’s not like she’ll be seeing much of him anyway, he's here for his brother’s state of the union and knowing her boss, they’ll probably never see each other again.

“Get it together Daynes!”

* * *

 

“Listen Trey, I’m gonna go help Penny with her homework why don’t you go in and talk with Tom alone?” she tells him, Trey’s face is draining from his face “No, he…” he feels his throat closing, he closes his eyes and tries to breathe slowly. “Ok, if he kills me my blood is in your hands” he murmurs before walking in the room.

Alex stands back and looks at the door closing behind him.

* * *

 

Tom is waiting for Trey to say something, he walked in the room but he stands in front of him just in the room, not talking just looking at the room around him. He feels year’s old anger and resentment raise, but he tries to keep it at bay for a while, Trey’s silence though is making him more and more angry “Say something!” Trey bites his lip, it’s something he used to do since he was a child and it throws Tom off, here he was seeing his brother turn back into his nine year old self when he knocked the vase down.

Trey just stays silent, he looks at his brother across from him, there’s papers scattered around him on the bed he looks older than he remembers or than he looks on TV, he guesses that make up helps hide the black circles under his eyes, “You seem sick.” Trey says, he doesn’t know why that’s the first thing that comes to his head but it is.

Tom rolls his eyes, “Like Alex didn’t tell you.” He mutters, Trey chuckles “She just said you were being a pain in the ass.”

* * *

 

“Seth, Seth, Seth, Seth, Seth” Seth looks up from his laptop to see an almost frantic Lyor barge in his office, “What the hell?” he says, looking at the man in front of him, he is standing in front of his desk his hands on his waist, pushing back the edge of his jacket, he notices that his shirt is getting a little undone on the left side and he feels an urge to fix it, but he doesn’t say anything, Lyor is standing there, it seems to him that his whole body is vibrating.

“What is going on Lyor?” he asks when he sees that the man is not going to say anything unprompted.

“Have you finished the state of the union?” he asks, Seth groans, “No, not yet” he murmurs.

“How long it’s gonna take?” Seth rolls his eyes, this is getting a little frustrating for him, for weeks he’s been trying to get everyone to pay some attention to the speech, probably the most important one in the Kirkman administration, ever! But no one seemed to care and now here was Lyor Boone showing his displeasure because he and a handful of writers couldn’t finish said speech.

“I don’t know Lyor, but if I had some help I assume faster!” Seth’s explosion surprises Lyor, he takes a step back and looks at the other man in surprise and shock “Could I help?”

* * *

 

Tom chuckles “I guess I was.” Trey smirks and sits on the edge of the bed “Yeah getting off bed to talk to a tribe leader that camped on your west wing, or going on TV to give a public apology, damn that was so good pr that’s border lining stupid.”

“That was a public apology Trey, but I think I owe one to you.” He says remembering his therapist’s words about making aments. “No you don’t” Trey says, Tom smiles and lowers his head “Yes I do. I realized I haven’t been your older brother in years, and that’s what I should be, I should be there for you helping you through things, I can’t keep holding grudges, I can’t keep carrying all this weight around.” He says, Trey smirks he looks at his brother a little better and realizes how much he has changed, and at the same time how little he has changed, he’s still the same person deep down, extremely caring always putting other ahead of himself almost to a fault.

Tom is surprised when he hears his brother laughing, it’s almost too nervous, but it surprises him “What is it?” he asks, Trey shakes his head “You know what’s like having Tom Kirkman as your brother? Eagle scout, Cornell scholarship, even in his fuck up years still top of his class, this!” he shows the room around them the weight of his words hit Tom like a ton of bricks, “No one expected you to do those things Trey.”

“It’s cause I couldn’t do it, someone once told me if you can’t be good you might as well be bad”

“Might as well be bad” Tom repeats with Trey, he remembers that moment, Alex Trey and himself were sitting in the middle of the living room in his first ratty apartment, they had gone through three bottles of whiskey well into their fourth when Trey asked her how the ‘Goody in two shoes girl from New York became a bad girl with pink highlights getting tattoos with her boyfriend in the middle of the night in sketchy parlors.’ She laughed and Tom still remembers how her nylon shirt felt under his fingers, she leaned forward and told him slowly, her speech slurring a bit from the alcohol ‘ _If you can’t be good you might as well be bad.’_

Tom is smirking reminiscing of the simpler times in their lives “I know why Alex wanted you here so much for the state of the union.” He says, “It was her way of bringing us together.” He says, Trey chuckles and lays down on the bed he turns his head looking at his brother “I thought it was so I could see you stumble over your words in front of the nation upfront.” Tom kicks him lightly, but he can’t stop laughing “Shut up” he murmurs.

“It was so I could look after you.” Trey says after a moment of silence between them. “Really?” he asks, he doesn’t know why but this does sound like something Alex would do.

“Alex called me right after she was released from the hospital, after the fight you guys had,” Tom looks away he still hates remembering that fight, “Said you might need more people to look after you.” He says, Tom is thankful that Trey doesn’t say anything more about the fight, he chuckles a bit, “I lost one of my oldest friends today Trey, I can’t lose anyone else.” He admits, it’s a moment of great weakness but he doesn’t care much “Billy right?” Trey asks, Tom nods, “I was never lost Tom.” Trey says, “Your goons are a bit hard to trick.” He says smirking, Tom looks up, his brother’s trademark smirk was back on his lips. “I’m not running again” he says.

“Good I’d have to send my goons after you if you did.”

* * *

 

Alex is pacing up and down the corridor just waiting for the sound of the fighting to come from the bedroom so she can walk in and stop her husband from killing his brother. The longer the noise wouldn’t come thought the more she believed that Tom has killed Trey silently. She wouldn’t allow herself to hope that the two of them would finally start treating each other like brothers again.

She decides to walk in the room and take her laptop and just face the reality that exists inside. She opens the door and to her surprise Trey is sitting next to Tom on the bed reading the state of the union for Tom who keeps interrupting his brother to make changes. They both freeze when Alex walks in.

“Hey baby.” Tom says smiling she looks at them; her eyes wide open “I just came to take my laptop.”

* * *

 

Alex calls Kendra first think as soon as she walks in her office, telling her to get there pronto. It doesn’t take the other woman too long till she knocks the door and slides in not waiting for an answer “What’s going on?” she asks.

“Trey is helping Tom with his state of the union address!”She says, Kendra looks at her puzzled, she’s pretty sure this meant they had patched things up and that was what Alex wanted, so the surprised borderline paranoia didn’t make any sense to her.

“Wasn’t this what you wanted?” Kendra asks. Alex stops pacing and looks at Kendra, she doesn’t know why she acts like that, Kendra is right after all; this is exactly what she wanted.  “It is.” Alex admits “It’s just, I never thought it would be so easy.” She pulls one of the chairs from in front of the desk and sits down; she hides her face in her hands trying to calm her breathing. “I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop I guess.” She murmurs.

“It’s too easy?” Kendra sits across from her; she leans forward and takes Alex’s hands in hers. “This job changes people, he had a few brushes with death in the last year, it changes people.” Alex smiles, she knows this might have helped but she’s still worried, she knows Tom well enough and she knows Trey just as well, they get along with each other for a week or so and then Tom will say something or Trey will be late for something and things will derail fast.

“Want me to have a talk with Kirkman junior?” Kendra offers, she doesn’t know why she offers to spent more time with her boss’ little brother or if she will get anything done but she does offer.

Alex looks at her, she’s surprised Kendra offers to spent time with Trey, she doesn’t claim to know Kendra perfectly but she knows the woman well enough to know that she doesn’t like to spent time with new people, she’s cautious and doesn’t open up easily, also her last relationship made her even more cautious especially with men. “I’d be grateful if you could.”

* * *

 

“Are you setting me on a date?” Trey jokes, Tom was sleeping peacefully in the bedroom and they were sitting in the living room. “No, I just want to have the house to myself, Tom goes to work again tomorrow, I shipped the kids to my mom so you are going out as well!” she feels confident not having lied completely to him.

He narrows his eyes but she can see him smirking a bit she knows she won the battle right there. “Fine. I’m stealing on of Tom’s suits!”

* * *

 

“So how long have you been working for my brother?” Trey asks, Kendra is still in her work clothes and he feels the suit he stole from his brother like a foreign skin. She smiles and he realizes what Tom was talking about for years after years.

“It’s been a few months; he hired me after the coresponder’s dinner.” She puts down the glass of wine she ordered and smirks, she feels a little weird being with Trey Kirkman in a bar, she can see people around throwing looks to them, his resemblance to his brother is a little too obvious but his low profile keeps people away. She also knows that secret service agents are sitting on the bar, they are dressed in normal clothes blending perfectly with the rest of the people in the bar.

“I’m still annoyed he didn’t perform that night, but I guess things were different being so close to the bombing.” Kendra giggles, the sound surprises her as it leaves her lips, “Well if you had seen the jokes Seth had written you’d be glad.”

“Did you?” he asks with a crocket smile on his lips. “No but everyone I asked said they were terrible.”

* * *

 

“Hey,” she turns and looks at Tom; he was awake bundled under the blankets in the bed, she smiles looking at him “Hey.” She sits next to him on the bed just looking at his face “I kicked your brother out and shipped the kids to my mom.” She tells him smirking.

Tom sits up “We have the house to ourselves?” he asks his eyes shining with mischief, she’s surprised to see it there again, “As much as you can when your house is the White House.”

* * *

 

Kendra doesn’t know how she found herself sitting in her living room drinking with her boss’ little brother, he was sitting on the floor a glass of whiskey in his hands looking straight ahead. He hasn’t spoken to her for about twenty minutes and she starts getting worried but doesn’t say anything, the whole thing was too weird for her to start a conversation.

“I don’t remember my dad.” He murmurs, his eyes were glued to the fireplace, the fire was going out but neither was getting up to do anything about it. “My dad died when I was ten.” It makes him turn around, there’s a look in his eyes, it’s not pity, it’s something different but she can’t pinpoint it. “I have a memory of my dad but I don’t want to tell Tom about it.” She can see the struggle in him when he bites his lip.

She doesn’t know what to do so she just sits back and waits for him to chose if he’s going to tell her more or not “I remember hiding in a closet and I could hear my mom crying, but the thing I remember more vividly was Tom just wrapping his hands around my shoulders and trying to cover my ears, but I could hear crying.” He stops, his eyes gloss over, he looks somewhere over her head, there’s not something specific, he just stares at the wall. She feels her blood boiling under her skin but she doesn’t comment on it, “Did you have a good relationship with your dad?” he asks her, he smiles, the smile doesn’t reflect on his eyes but she looks over it.

“He was strict but lovely.” She starts realizing that memories of her father start fading away after all the years since his death, “He would buy me ice cream every first of month, even in the middle of the winter and would tell me to eat it before returning home because my mom would be upset.”

Trey looks at the smile on her face, he realizes that it’s probably the most beautiful thing he laid eyes on, “You had a nice childhood.” He murmurs, “Yeah, I’d say I did.” He nods “Yeah.”


	6. State of the Union

Tom was getting nervous as he was trying to get his tie done, he groans looking at the crocket knot and unties it in frustration “Fuck” he curses under his breath throwing the wrinkled tie aside, “What did the tie do?” he turns and looks at Alex, she’s leaning against the door already dressed in her navy blue dress. “It won’t get tied straight.” She smiles and walks to his side choosing a deep navy blue silk tie and stands in front of him, her hands work fast tying the knot fast.

“Ready.” She tells him, she’s worried but tries to stop herself, she can see his nerves getting a little too much for him to handle so she tries not to add to it.

“Seth was right, it is different.”

* * *

 

Trey was mindlessly tying his tie he looked at the mirror in front of him but he wasn’t seeing much, the whole thing was surreal for him, his brother was about to give his first state of the union, in the very same spot that a little over a year ago thousands lost their life, the previous president included. He remembers watching the speech from his living room in New York, hoping he’ll see his brother sitting in the crowd along with the rest of the cabinet. He was late turning on the TV the speech had started and the camera was panning over the people sitting in the chamber, but as the faces of the cabinet appeared on the screen his brother was nowhere to be seen. He remembers wondering where he could be, the designated survivor policy not even passing through his mind.

“You ready?” he turns and looks his brother standing at the door, he was leaning against the door frame already dressed in a perfectly pressed black suit, a crisp white shirt and a navy blue tie. Trey nods and takes his jacket from the chair at the small desk in the corner. “Yeah, where’s Alex?” he asks trying to take his mind off of the impending trip to the hill.

“She’s helping Leo with his tie.” Tom says, he moves to the side letting Trey walk by him, he turns and closes the door to the bedroom he uses and follows his brother to the stairs, Alex is waiting for them there with Leo, Trey is shocked when he sees his nephew with a full suit and tie waiting there, his usually wild and untamed hair carefully combed, “Poor child.” Trey jokes.

“I look better than you.” Leo says as he waits for his parents to get down the stairs first.

* * *

 

As soon as they settled in the car Tom let’s his nerves show for the first time since his talk with Alex in the wardrobe “Tom?” Alex leans closer and takes his hand in hers trying to stop him from ripping the small skin around his nails apart.

“What if I stumble my words? What if I forget the speech?” she smiles and squeezes his hand tighter, the car starts moving and he gasps a bit, “There’s a teleprompter there and you can read right?” she tries to make a joke, lighten the mood a little, maybe take his mind off of the thoughts of the state of the union address which surely is bothering him.

“And I didn’t forget my contacts.” He tries to joke back, she can see a small smirk breaking on his lips, freeing his mind of the unreasonable worry that had almost paralyzed him.

“You’ll be fine.” She reassures him as the car leaves the White House grounds.

Tom looks out the window at the lightened Washington monument and draws in a deep breath, “Yeah” he murmurs “I’ll be fine, we’ll be fine.”


End file.
